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For Immediate Release Contact:Newsvine Weekly World News March 24, 2008
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Presidential hopeful John McCain issued a statement today regarding former president Reagan's star wars program.
"Citizens of this great country, it is a shame we have reached this century and Ronald Reagan's great dream has not be made reality. I speak, of course, of star wars, The magnificent program which would have short circuited the entire Iraq conflict. This program could have removed Saddam and dealt with Iraq without any risk to our fine soldiers."
"I promise that if you elect me President of this great nation, I will not rest until star wars is a reality. My top priority will be getting the orbital network of death rays up and running as fast as possible. In the years following september 11th we need every tool available to combat terrorism. This system will save American lives and make the world a safer place for everyone."
"A vote for me is a vote for the safety of every man, woman, and child in this country. When we have our orbital network set to instantly vaporize any threat to our american way of life, we can rest easy. This is one more way in which I stand ready to defend this country from the threats we face every day. Please, think of the children."
"Thank you, and good night."
